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I got a call from "Microsoft" in Oregon...

4K views 12 replies 10 participants last post by  CardPuncher 
#1 · (Edited)
The phone rang and a male with an accent which didn't sound at all like Oregon said he was with Microsoft Technical Support in Oregon and they were getting error messages from my computer. Wow! I'm worried.

I put him on speaker-phone so my wife could hear and didn't tell him that my computer doesn't use Windows. I've been a dedicated Linux user for years.

I can't explain why I did this but the combination of knowing I had a live one who in turn thought he had a live one lead me to shout at the speakerphone in German. I don't speak German. Had a year of it a LONG time ago and spent maybe a week there once. But he didn't speak it either.

He: "Sir, are you in front of your computer?"

Me: "Komputer? Ich habe nicht eine Komputer."

He: "Sir, we are getting error messages from Windows on your computer."

Me: "Vindos? Vas Vindos? Meine haus has Vindos."

It went on for a minute or two, making it the longest conversation I ever had in German. Apologies to anyone who actually knows German, but mine was good enough this time.

I'm sure you all know this, but if anyone ever calls you and claims to be from Microsoft and they are getting messages from your computer, hang up. Or try some language you alvays vanted to speak.
 
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#4 · (Edited)
i received the same call last week

same story, they "were receiving error messages from my computer". you know some one is not going to call about something like this, i just wonder what they are looking for and how many people have given out vital information!? i told the guy i did not even own a computer and asked him what kinda scam he was working!!( i did a google search and it is a scam that goes back to 2008, and is still going on.) CLICK,and a dial tone!:mad::eek:
 
#5 ·
I'm sure you all know this, but if anyone ever calls you and claims to be from Microsoft and they are getting messages from your computer, hang up. Or try some language you alvays vanted to speak.
Love it!!!:bthumb: And your German accent sounds pretty authentic to me. I speak with my colleagues in Germany at least a couple times a week and you sounded great!
 
#6 ·
Not a computer story, but the German language thing brought up some memories.

My mother used to work for Defense Contract Audit Agency in Groton, Ct.

She was always kidding with the guys in the office, and she gives as good as she gets.

One day, she picked up the phone and answered it, and there was an English voice on the other end of it, so she replied in a very loverly English accent. The conversation went on for a couple of minutes, and then she sent the call on it's way to the intended recipient, her boss.

Her boss came out a few minutes later with an ear to ear grin, and said 'Fran, do you know who that was?' to which the reply was 'Oh, it was so and so being stupid again, why?'
His reply was 'No, that was Lt. Cmdr Such and Such of Her Majesty's Royal Navy, and he is soooo pleased to hear that we're employing English girls in our office. Please don't do that again!'

Mom is SUCH a trouble maker.

I haven't gotten any calls from 'Microsoft', but there have been a few scam calls, and I usually go right along, just to hear their lines. Then, I'll tell them I'm not the person that owns the home, I'm house sitting, I'm a robber who's broken in, or the best one, in recorded history, was Tom Mabe doing this one.



G
 
#9 ·
I've been exposed to several non-English languages although I never got good enough for more than a basic conversation in any. But I've found, as I know many people have, that after a certain amount of exposure you start "thinking" in the other language. So "das Fenster" pops out without the need to translate the English in your head first.

The down-side to that is when the non-English language in your head is not the non-English language you are trying to converse in. I've embarrasssed myself that way a few times.

"Microsoft Windows" is probaby "Microsoft Windows" in nearly every major language though. And there can't be many German-speaking people who don't know what a caller means when he says "Windows." It was not the most coherent or intelligent conversation I ever had but it was kinda fun and, like you, I was amazed at what the recesses of the brain can come up with.
 
#10 ·
It's a game and you aren't playing it correctly. The game is: the caller tries to convince you that he is legit and that you should pay him money to 'fix' your computer and you try to keep him on the phone as long as possible, stringing him along with well intentioned, but confusing questions.

For example:

Hello, this is Microsoft and we are getting messages of a problem with Windows on your computer.

Which computer?

How many do you have?

Five, but they have different versions of Windows.

Do any of them have Windows 7?

Can't you tell?

Yes, they have Windows 7.

Yes, I do have one with Windows 7, but it's not turned on right now. Would you like for me to turn it on.

And so on. You get the idea. My record is 23 minutes. My son kept him going for 35 minutes.

And on a related topic:
Computers and German!!

If you paste this into Word and use the Old English Text, it looks much better.

Achtung!!

Alles Lookenspeepers…

Das computermachinen is night für gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist ich schnapen der springenwerks, blowenfûsen und poppencorken mit spizensparken. Ist nicht für gewerken bei das dumbkopfen. Das rubbernecken sichtseeren keppen hin in das packets muss; relaxen und watchen das blinkenlichten.
 
#12 ·
Kept Mr Ranjur Sandeep from Windows on the phone for almost an hour last week. As a Linux Admin, I had a great time playing with him, although I gave clues that I wasn't using Windows (ie, output of top instead of eventviewer.exe).

I finally confessed that I was playing with him, he lowered his voice and called me a "miserable ******* son of a b****"

Can't wait for the next call, will have recorder going on my iPhone to capture it :)

Achtung!!

Alles Lookenspeepers…

Das computermachinen is night für gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist ich schnapen der springenwerks, blowenfûsen und poppencorken mit spizensparken. Ist nicht für gewerken bei das dumbkopfen. Das rubbernecken sichtseeren keppen hin in das packets muss; relaxen und watchen das blinkenlichten.
When ITS redid our NOC they set the swtiches and routers up so the blinkenlights would show through a big bay window, they have this printed out on the door :)
 
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#13 · (Edited)
... First call, I asked them to please remove me from their list and not call again....
You dreamer.

... Was I suppose to stay on the phone with him while I turned on my computer ?
Yes, until you either gave him a credit card number or were tricked into clicking on something that you would regret later.

You were kidding, weren't you?
 
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